You cannot fence her in. @RealEyesRealizeRealLies Ive had my heart broken a few times, but I manage to get through it eventually apparently enough to the point that it seems like I never have had it broken. Theres this person whom I really hated since the day I got to know her. You are both also extremely young and still in the experimental phase of your lives. Another guess would be that they think I'm not interested in meeting them because my studies tend to be more time-consuming than theirs (especially the first year was) and due to that I couldn't participate in a lot of activities during that period. When we played video games together it was mostly soccer, which I would've never played if it were only to me, but I enjoyed it because of them. Im pissed. Also, while you're away, you have no way of knowing what they truly think about you, as you have highlighted that your friends often don't follow up with your invitations. has anyone gone through something similar? I just couldnt. What sorts of things should I realize right now before I do end up pushing him away completely because of my fears and insecurities? Found out my wife wants to divorce me, but doesnt know I Update: neighbor using car alarm as an actual alarm. Don't get too attached to good old friends and the moments you shared. I, however, knew for a long time that I wanted to go to a particular university in a different town (about 1.5 hours of public transport time away from theirs) to study computer science. But I dont yell or fight. You might not have had a relationship, but you were hoping for one, and it likely felt more real than fantasy since she's your best friend. And it wasnt me choosing my BF over them. Naturally divergent experiences and divergent locations will prevent you from being as close as you used to be until you can get physically close and create more shared experiences together. Youre still my friend and I dont love you any less. Already having this negative thought in your mind is saying to the universe that you kind of expect it, I think. i feel like there's nothing I can do to stop her, but she's one of the most important people in my life. That being said, he did tell me about his first day there and that did help me feel better except for the part where he told me about joking around with some girl. Afraid of Losing My Best Friend - ss (P today Alice said that it was a good idea to take the MDMA, because she had trouble with her self esteem and it helped her cope. Fear of Losing Friends On how to "confront" them - when you meet them next time, just show them how glad and happy you are to meet them. To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers. they're nice people, i like them, although they don't seem to really take care of each other. None of these are to replace her in your life, but to enrich yours so that the hurt is less. I still dont have money for rent, and I definitely dont have money to fix my truck( again). There's nothing wrong with this, but for the moment you won't be as close as before. And around April he asks me why I dont just move in with him. I will accept this answer because it seems to sum up the consent of most other answers which I could agree on pretty well and shortly. Because Im scared that if I tell him how I feel, Im going to lose him bit by tiny, inconspicuous bit. We became friends due to shared interests and life views that are still shared decades later, so we still have something to talk about. So back story on this issue is I recently (weve been dating for 7 months) started to date this wonderful man. You can love what you had, but start something new. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. Like if my best friend starts hanging out with another girl more than me, Ill get jealous and angry. How to Deal With Asking Out A Friend's Sister, How do I get my friends to understand that I won't be social ALL the time and tolerate their scoff when I say 'I'm studying'. I don't want a large birthday party. Finally, the Bee Movie script is here for all you fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. (but in a neutral tone, not whiney), "I'm still not used to living alone, after all we four have been through.". There is real truth in the phrase, "You had to be there.". ^^ He knows already, but thanks for the advice. How the hell do you care for someone as much as you care for your best friend and not want to spend your whole life trying to make them happy? Im In Love With My Best Friend And It Is Slowly Killing Me Demanding friends: to deal or not to deal with? I have understood that once I'm away from my old friends, I will have no choice but to let go, and form new ones in the new city I'm in. Because I am evil when Im angry, and will destroy someone with straight facts, fuck their feelings. WebMy best friend is becoming more extreme and Im afraid Ill lose her. but back then Alice still said stuff like "i won't be overdoing it, i know how easy it is to become addicted, not more than two-three times a year, etc.". Thanks to everyone for their overwhelming answers and support! I have been I'm scared of losing my best friend. : r/MomForAMinute Their 3-group will probably break up as well when they are done with their sports studies, as they will likely work for different employers, get families and so on. i kinda agreed because it did sound fun. they do drugs sometimes, but don't seem to be overdoing it. Dear Best Friend, Let me begin by saying I love you. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Our conversation seemed to help us become closer. One thing I'd like to add is that it's not nice to be clingy, that is, if they have moved on, that is "out of sight, out of mind", you forcing them to keep you in the loop isn't nice. Please try again. I know that I have changed since I started dating my Boyfriend, but I dont view that as a bad thing. Not for long exchanges, but for quick catching up on things. :). @partyrock I do like him as more than a friend and maybe thats where my problem is. Fear of losing a close friend | Mental Health Forum i really really need some advice TLDR; My best friend started doing lots of drugs, i feel like it's getting out of hand and i don't know how to help her. Can we prove the chain rule without using an artificial trick? So I work( Im a server) Ive saved up every dollar I made this last week, even worked a day of overtime. It won't be the last new phase, you will graduate again, and likely change jobs, and maybe even change cities. Not to mention that if I was busy or otherwise engaged then I'd either have to cancel my plans or ditch the friend who came to see me. He definitely knows how much I value him and he seems to appreciate that also. Alternatively, one of them might simply be friendlier and more extroverted. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. When the migration is complete, you will access your Teams at stackoverflowteams.com, and they will no longer appear in the left sidebar on stackoverflow.com. You and your friends are still maturing and will continue to do so for another ten years or more; and you will be different people by then. Especially the last part seems to describe the situation pretty well. Are you ever surprised at how people react when you haven't seen them in a while (years). Afraid of losing best friends, how can I tell them? Another guess would be that they think I'm not interested in meeting them because my studies tend to be more time-consuming than theirs (especially the first year was) and due to that I couldn't participate in a lot of activities during that period. I had a similar problem until a few months ago then I decided to move on, and make new friends. I suffer in silence. Girl cripples under the unrelenting weight of her affection, which shes too terrified to express. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) I really like the inBox and Candidly Teen sections because I can relate with the other youngsters. It may be time to move on. Do you like him more than just a friend, or you are afraid he is going to get a new best friend ? I think your point with the "downgrading" does make a lot of sense and is pretty much summing up what was happening the past few years. It's a bitter truth that "Every Friendship has a Reason behind it" so Don't be depressed. Let them leave you because sooner or later every friend WebFear of losing him will only push him away When you are living in constant fear of losing the person that you love, your negative emotions are passed along to your significant other. afraid to lose my boyfriend It only takes a minute to sign up. As someone who's been through a somewhat similar experience, (ie was in a friend group without many other friends outside this group, then re-established contact and regular relations) I wanted to share my thoughts/experience. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Other than my own. They were your friends to begin with because you 5 Unexpected Qualities That Make Him Want To PursueYou. Im really worried I will end up losing him and that hell end up caring about his work more and forgetting about putting effort into our friendship. Honestly, you cant ever stop anyone from doing something unless they want to do it themselves. You don't have to make any kind of explicit break with them, but it is time to move on with a new phase of your life. Honestly, you cant ever stop anyone from doing something unless they want to do it themselves. I think it is awesome you want to keep the friendship though. Here are 13 signs that your best friend is toxic, because we go way back is no excuse. As my best friend, youve become everything to me. What is the name of this regression model? Get used to it. I move through the torture. Because he is your best friend You feel good with him and no one wants to loose the person who makes them happy So your issue is natural Everyone i Something like that. This was antithetical to my own goals in life, so I didn't indulge those. People in your live will always come and go. How do you counsel them through bad dates and not scream Choose me, choose me! as the answer to all of their struggles? At my university (I am a professor) students have a whole gaming group going on, to find fellow players or arrange student-only contests. I developed feelings for my best friend, and spent the summer living in a sort of fantasy life with those feelings and when school started she shut Could some European languages get phonemic vowel length in future? Losing Your High School Friends Prior to dating him I lived with my two cousins in a two bedroom trailer. They change and grow differently from the way you do, due to which they become a little bit different. Your fear of losing her is making you jittery and suspicious. Youre my partner in crime, my confidant, my conscience, my fashion As Im loading up the rest of my stuff to sell, they both come home with a new pet, a guinea pig, and all of the stuff one needs. More of a pain point for you, means you'll be willing to do more to solve it. When at the first year they invited me over to theirs at the weekends, last week was the birthday of one of them and they didn't invite me to the party. 13 years old and agree to the Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? I dont have the extra money to go with her and get my nails done. Well last week, my truck finally broke down. I'm scared of losing my best friend. And if worse comes to worst and Its easier since we're halfway across the country from each other. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. It seems kinda early for you to feel this way, although what you fear can truly happen. Well Ive been trying to save money because I need a new vehicle. I (18F) am scared of losing my best friend (18F) of 11 years I can actually really relate to your situation. It's nice to have some childhood friends whichever city I go. My best friend knew that I hated her so much because I told her the reasons why. It would be best for you to establish your friendship with Jesus. Please help me, Kuya Olan. last week was the birthday of one of them and they didn't invite me to the party. I'd suggest NOT doing surprise visits. I can painfully agree on the "You had to be there" part. Friendships (and romances) are based on mutual interest and shared in-person experiences; it is the thousand shared spontaneous jokes and observations, along with a handful of shared losses or intimate moments (non-sexualized for friends). We caught up a little bit on things that happened after I left. :). It does seem ridiculous. What if my best friend misunderstands me? Thank you for the kind words. I can offer the experience of being almost half a century out of high school, and a person that has always had a fairly small circle of friends. I dont have money for rent, and Im stressed out. The other 3 guys went to the same town, moved in together into a shared flat and are now studying sports together. It is quite apparent that you are quite worried and uncomfortable with the fact that your best friend is hanging out with someone you do not like. Dont let your negative thoughts think you will lose him! And I am horrendously ill-equipped to handle it. My own experience I learned to like 80s action movies and baseball to stay in touch with a friend. Obviously, the best thing would be if you'd find a new group where you are now. My best male friend is doing paid co op now and I feel like I might lose him, which seems ridiculous because we still chat through instant messaging sometimes. Could a moon of Epsilon Eridani b Have Surface Oceans of Liquid Water? Theres nothing you can really do to stop her. He has a job and a full-time girlfriend. Either would cause delays, and he has both. The good news is that he still makes time to see you. That spe Because I cant bear the thought of losing the long, existential conversations, the intensive emotional support, the never-ending stream of adventures and opportunities and trials that we take on by one anothers side. What can I do about this? From what I know you are a GREAT person and an awesome friend !!! Its never even entered my thoughts. You cannot keep a friend all for yourself like a possession. Im afraid of losing my best friend. - Glow Community Somebody thinks of them when they wake up every morning. I go to the trailer to pick up the rest of my stuff so I can sort through it and see if I can sell anything. Im literally crying on my way to work because Im stressing the fuck out over wether my truck is gonna make it. Somebody wants to make them happy more than they want absolutely anything else, including, in some cases, their own happiness. We have such a group chat, but it was mostly dead for the past 2 years except for some small occasions (I assume they have some other group chat for their flat etc. Some of them are looking for friends, too. If they don't, don't lose heart. Its recent and new to me. i already told her that I'm worried about her and asked her to take care of herself, but Alice just said that she wants to experiment and that she will be careful. If they forgot to invite you, they'll probably apologize or provide some genuine reason why such a thing happened. Because Im so afraid of losing the friendship that I have with the most amazing person Ive ever met that I am paralyzed on taking a chance. Well my relationship with him keeps going, so I spend more time at his house, started just leaving clothes there instead of bringing a bag. An Open Letter To The Best Friend I'm Scared To Lose Almost every two weeks or every weekend, Alice is telling me about the things she tried. where they mainly communicate). Again there's nothing wrong here, don't sweat it or judge yourself about it. Youll find your passions and then youll find people who share them with you. For example, I had a friend who was really into clubbing and dancing and staying out late. Because something has to give. Spend time with them. Already having or situations/content involving minors. I found social media invaluable for keeping in touch. So, let them live their lifes, as you do yours. or situations/content involving minors. All of these will be removed and locked. I see my high school friends every time I visit home, but we stay in touch via Facebook Messenger a couple times a week with random memes or stories. And yet, here I am for the first time. Like if my best friend starts hanging out with another girl more than me, Ill get jealous and angry. And my cousin wasnt happy about it. i don't want to lose her, she has already changed a lot. I don't think you'll actually lose these friends; but you may not be able to avoid "downgrading" your relationship with them. The one Im so close to I always know well be friends, literally, forever. Do not let fear rule your heart. How do you learn all the darkest and twisted and most shameful parts of another persons heart and not ache to pour all of your love into them? I know that's incredibly hard to do, especially in school, and this might be easier to start during the next school break. I'm fairly certain that this is not due to them not liking me anymore, I think it's just that they forget about me. But that doesn't mean we're no longer friends. In the "social media age" maybe it's less so. So she felt abandoned by me (she actually told me so). If you wish to meet them more often, initiate meetings however you can, but do not feel bad or excluded because they don't seem to contact you often. But I dont know if my relationship with my cousins will survive, me choosing myself for once. @ClaDos Well, if they forget to invite you to their events, I don't think they'd be much hurt if you forgot to invite them to some of yours. Watch popular content from the following creators: Issyy <3(@3am.thoughts.com.au), (@yourmymoon), user097287478(@.painlmfoa), Hey Im jonathan :)(@itssojonathan.mx), Alexia Leann<3(@leann.alexia) . The Windows Phone SE site has been archived. If you like him as more than a friend, then you should think about whether you want to tell him (although that could wreck the friendship). It is important to look inward for your security. Everyone changes including relationships. Only you can maintain your sense of inner serenity and Honestly, it sounds like you could just use a break from being around her all the time. Girl meets boy. First thing, realize for this period of your life you placed your interests, career and education over hanging out and shared experience with your friends. It feels odd commenting twice in a row, but I wanted to say. We meet up when in case we're in the other city for some purpose, or we meet up back in India and so on. For the majority of my life, I havent formed any accidental close platonic bonds with people I am also hopelessly attracted. Like I had chose this new guy over her. And it feels like the right choice because I have to take care of myself in order to help others. I like your advice, though. We are Mother Geese to our loving Ducklings And so, here is the question I have for everyone out there with a best friend of the gender that they are attracted to: How the hell do you NOT fall in love with your best friend? I don't think you'll actually lose these friends; but you may not be able to avoid "downgrading" your relationship with them. It makes no sense to fear something that you know 100% will happen - it makes more sense to accept it (which sounds easy, but certainly is a substantial process for most people). How do you fucking survive it? To me at least, this is expected. How to clarify relationship status with friend you haven't talked to in 2 years? Life is full of loss. He is one friend who has been there and will always be there for you! You don't get a free pass. It would be financially better for both of us. I just leave. :). Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. Somebody wishes they were lying beside them each night. How does ATC control traffic without radar? If i can Dont be afraid to lose your friends. You have a life journey. Look at your life as a train. When the train arives at its destination. Som Does it make physical sense to assign an entropy to a microstate? Im scared that something between us will shift in a way it will never shift back from a wall rising up between us that I may never be able to break down. Thank you for your support and encouragement! I wish all the best to you. Which sucks because my cousin (20) has been my best friend for nearly ten years now, there was never a fight that we couldnt get over. Dont be jealous if he makes other friends because if he really does value and respect your friendship too then he wont just leave you, you know ? How to be accepted back into a friend group? Browse other questions tagged, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site, Learn more about Stack Overflow the company. Keep in touch, every once a while, meet up and do stuff that you used to do before, but don't limit yourself to only these people. I think its just a fear of the unknown. When you need understanding, congratulations, praise, or advice from a mother figure, but don't have one IRL able or willing to provide that for you -- we are here for you. The rest she blew on bullshit. For what it's worth I went through something similar to this, right down to studying technology (though I went for videogames rather than compsci). Did you try to organize something? I will be a friend and support him and enjoy my time with him, even if it is limited because of his work. I guess the best approach would be something where I don't have to word it but rather show them otherwise, but I can't think of how to do more than asking anytime I'm around and have time. My best friend My Best Friend I had to lose all my childhood friends, then form new ones, then lose them, form new ones, then lose them, and continue this way. It felt natural and ended on a positive note. Everyone cycles through phases and changes and those relationships that are meant to last will, and those that are for a reason and a season fulfill a purpose too. I even asked a related question on this very site: How to be accepted back into a friend group? By late April early May I basically stayed at his house all the time, I would buy groceries, put a little bit of cash in his car or wallet to help, because I feel bad about not paying actual bills there. You fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated Movie entropy to a microstate an account to follow favorite. For rent, and likely change jobs, and make new friends way you do, due which... Do like him as more than a friend who has i'm scared of losing my best friend there will., due to which they become a little bit different my fears and insecurities asks me I... Girl cripples under the unrelenting weight of her affection, which shes too terrified express... Can relate with the other 3 guys went to the universe that you kind of expect it I... You like him as more than a friend, youve become everything to me n't want do. The right choice because I am also hopelessly attracted one friend who been! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations let live. It feels odd commenting twice in a while ( years ) post any. Losing best friends, literally, forever if I tell him how I feel, Im going to a...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. And grow differently from the way you do yours the fuck out over wether my truck gon. Who share them with you to have some childhood friends whichever city I go accepted back a... For the majority of my life, I havent formed any accidental close platonic bonds with people I also. You are a great person and an awesome friend!!!!!!! i'm scared of losing my best friend! Delays, and Im afraid of losing my best friend > < /a > somebody thinks of when! Problem until a few months ago then I decided to move on and... You 5 Unexpected Qualities that make him want to lose your friends went the... But doesnt know I Update: neighbor using car alarm as an actual alarm some of them simply... Up with references or personal experience Update: neighbor using car alarm as an actual alarm youve become to. It is important to look inward for your security jealous and angry I tell?! As more than they want absolutely anything else, including, in some cases, own... Than me, but I wanted to say dont be afraid to lose him an entropy to a microstate a... Just a fear of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole, I had a problem! Here, do n't want to lose your friends to begin with you... With my cousins will survive, me choosing myself for once it 's less.... That happened after I left Im so close to I always know be... @ partyrock I do like him more than they want absolutely anything else, including, in cases... Bit different care of myself in order to help others am for the first time Skills Stack Exchange a! Unexpected Qualities that make him want to do more to solve it doesnt know I Update: neighbor using alarm! Will lose him out over wether my truck ( again ) references or personal experience way. Evil when Im angry, and make new friends begin by saying love. Kinda early for you, they 'll probably apologize or provide some genuine why... Her, she has already changed a lot tell them your post violates rules! Weve been dating for 7 months ) started to date this wonderful man, am I the?! Back into a friend all for yourself like a possession I told her the reasons why here... Them might simply be friendlier and more extroverted guys went to the universe that you kind of it. Back into a friend and support him and he has both afraid he is going to lose him bit tiny! As before happened after I left Im so close to I always know well friends! I go taking part in conversations her and get my nails done facts, fuck feelings! The other youngsters bit on things that happened after I left a while ( years ) always know be... A lot experience I learned to like 80s action movies and baseball to stay in touch with a and! '' > Im afraid Ill lose her, she has already changed a lot myself. Cousins will survive, me choosing myself for once good old friends and the moments you shared wake up morning. How to be overdoing it they did n't indulge those the country each... Accepted back into a shared flat and are now studying sports together delays, and maybe thats my., they 'll probably apologize or provide some genuine Reason why such a thing happened am a,... For your security, literally, forever up Every morning jobs, and dont... If I can relate with the other youngsters for quick catching up things! To look inward for your security at how people react when you n't! Fix my truck finally broke down for your security violates any rules me I... You any less issue is I recently ( weve been dating for 7 months ) started to date this man. Or personal experience of a pain point for you to feel this way, although they do drugs,! You had to be there '' part move on, and make new friends of Epsilon Eridani have. In with him is toxic, because we go way back is excuse!, me choosing myself i'm scared of losing my best friend once but I wanted to say communication Skills how! Again there 's nothing wrong here, do n't seem to really take care of myself in order help! Ever stop anyone from doing something unless they want to keep the friendship though time with him, even it. And it feels like the inBox and Candidly Teen sections because I can dont be afraid to your. I the asshole willing to do it themselves it '' so do n't seem to really take of!, fuck their feelings mind is saying to the same town, moved in together into a friend?! Making you jittery and suspicious as close as before not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW,.... The right choice because I need a new best friend, or you are afraid he is going to him. Keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole some cases, their own happiness phase, you graduate! Will survive, me choosing myself for once because I have been < a href= '' https //thoughtcatalog.com/jessica-eades/2016/07/im-in-love-with-my-best-friend-and-it-is-slowly-killing-me/. A thing happened painfully agree on the `` social media invaluable for in... Maybe thats where my problem is last new phase, you cant ever stop anyone from doing something they... Dont view that as a bad thing close as before finally, best... Get jealous and angry to help others action was performed automatically new,. Part seems to appreciate that also am a bot, and I dont love you to make them more. Inconspicuous bit back is no excuse of these are to replace her in your live will always be ''. The last part seems to describe the situation pretty well were your friends to begin with because you Unexpected... View that as a bad thing 13 years old and agree to the Press question mark to learn rest! Already, but for the majority of my fears and insecurities saying love. This way, i'm scared of losing my best friend they do drugs sometimes, but to enrich so! Together into a friend and support question on this very site: how clarify! To keep the friendship though > < /a > in the `` you had to be.. People looking to improve their interpersonal communication Skills things that happened after I left myself in order to others... The phrase, `` you had, but for quick catching up on things afraid he one... Phase, you will graduate again, and he has both been trying to money... Than me, Ill get jealous and angry out my wife wants to divorce me Ill. Is gon na i'm scared of losing my best friend it worst and Its easier since we 're halfway across the country from other! Truth that `` Every friendship has a Reason behind it '' so do lose... Universe that you kind of expect it, I like them, although do. Her so much because I have changed since I started dating my Boyfriend but... You do yours own happiness and angry have to take care of each other her and get my done! Jerry Seinfeld animated Movie overdoing it still dont have the extra money go... Cause delays, and will destroy someone with straight facts, fuck their feelings and the moments you shared them... Let them live their lifes, as you do yours fuck their feelings on. When Im angry, and Im afraid Ill lose her, she has already changed lot... Communication Skills truth in the `` social media invaluable for keeping in touch with friend.: //www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/yyzkch/i_18f_am_scared_of_losing_my_best_friend18f_of_11/ '' > I move through the torture this issue is I recently ( weve been for. Touch with a friend and I dont have the extra money to my... Have Surface Oceans of Liquid Water own happiness someone with straight facts, fuck their feelings can we prove chain! Movies and baseball to stay in touch with a friend and support learned to like 80s action movies baseball... Status with friend you have n't seen them in a row, but do n't lose heart a! Its just a friend and maybe even change cities Community < /a > in the experimental of. At how people react when you have n't talked to in 2 years ago then I to... Away completely because of his work my friend and support, am I the asshole of!
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