If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. By learning to communicate effectively with each other, mothers and sons can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. She is a former public school teacher of 18 years, licensed in 3 states and certified to teach elementary, secondary English, and English Language Learners. Instead, they should write from the heart and focus on being honest about how their sons behavior makes them feel. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. When Your Grown Child Makes Bad Decisions | Guide for Parents. Mothers who raised their children alone and are now outsiders. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. Instead it takes two to raise a healthy, happy son: a mother and a father. He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. Make sure you show him how much you believe in him and what he can do, and dont forget to give him compliments when he succeeds at something. The son also needs to do his part by ensuring he keeps healthy boundaries with his mother and maintains a balance between his mother and spouse. Mothers always put their children first and are always there for them, even when they dont deserve it. This reason is related to #2. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. Trey was a major mama's boy, whose mommy came over to take care of him when he had the flu, rubbing Vicks Vapor Rub on his chest, as Charlotte stood in the doorway horrified. Parents must understand the difference between these two scenarios so that they can take steps toward having a healthy relationship with their son if necessary and move past any problems that might arise between them in the future. He knows that she cares about him more than anyone else, so he acts out to get her attention, even if its negative attention. If theyre hanging around with the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere, it could affect them. In this article, well talk about some of the most common problems that arise in mother-son relationships, as well as some ways you can help your family stay healthy and strong. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. Make sure you listen to what he has to say and take the time to really understand where hes coming from. A son may feel that his mother doesnt acknowledge him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him as my child.. In the United States, it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their mothers poorly. A lot of kids and young adults will reach a point where they push back against what they perceive to be a controlling mother or parent. There are many reasons why a mother would abuse her son, but it is almost always due to her own personal anger and frustration. This will lead him to disrespect other women as well. If you have made a mistake, be honest about it and do what you can to make amends. If you are not sure that you are on the same page, ask your son to explain what he thinks you want and then tell him what you really want. The children from mothers who were avoidant, anxious, or ambivalent did not rely on their mothers for support. In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. He may also feel that she is too controlling in how she handles his life, which can make him feel suffocated by his mother. Supporting your son is important, but it doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. You can find it in a million memes, It's reiterated in personal essays from women who say their worst relationships were with men who yelled at their moms . Here are a few tips for dealing with sons who treat their mothers poorly. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him. Parents need to encourage their children to individuate and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for others. I have tried it all, name it. Here are some of the reasons behind sons who treat their mothers poorly and tips on how to tackle this issue: Young men can have a lot of emotional issues, its part of growing up and handling relationships, and dealing with experiences. Some mothers favor certain children over others, and sometimes, it can be a bad relationship. Sons may grow resentful of this and react in a negative manner toward their mothers. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. The study found that participants listed mental health issues and emotional abuse as reasons for their estrangements. Parents tell stories of ill-spoken words, of misunderstanding, of unhelpful interference from others. They feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make it known that theyre still important in their mothers life. Constantly making fun of her and belittling her in front of others. Finally, if the issue persists and nothing seems to be changing, dont be afraid to ask for professional help. The sons may feel their mothers do not trust the sons actions nor have the sons well-being in mind. Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms It Happened to Me Too. This leads to resentment from the son. This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him. This was addressed in a controversial but albeit continued influential way in the late 1800s by Psychologist Sigmund Freud in what he coined the Oedipus Complex. This relationship between a mother and son is full of frustration and anger. Maybe shes more of a helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling. Simple 3-Minute Meditation Script Thatll Change Your Life! In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. In some cases, this behavior may be a cry for help. Many sons who hate their mothers say it is because they grew up with a domineering, selfish, calculating, and scheming mother. He may also be unable to get along well with his siblings or other family members. I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. Tell your child how their behavior is affecting you. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_11',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); But there is a fine line between being protective and overbearing; between being supportive and being controlling. They may also resent her for not leaving the abuser when they had the chance. His mother tries to triangulate by going through the spouse to get what she wants from the son. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',156,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If a son already has animosity towards his mother from childhood, this will worsen in adulthood. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. As expected, living with a person with NPD can be quite daunting, and maintaining a relationship with a son with NPD hugely challenging for mothers in particular since sons with this often view their mothers as inferior and targets for insults. If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! The son might have a father figure in his life who isnt his biological father. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_16',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0');In addition, he will hate his mother more if he feels she has disrespected his relationships. She might demand that you live at home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. The mother is overbearing and controlling. You can tell a lot about a man by the way his mother talked to (and talks to) him. Showing little or no respect for her boundaries, opinions, and feelings. This can put a lot of pressure on him and ultimately lead to resentment. Even when theyre 20+, they might still be in a teenage stage where their focus is on themselves and they have a hard time understanding the needs of others. Males in particular have a higher rate of diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder than females.This is a very helpful video for those wanting to begin to understand these disorders. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1','ezslot_20',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-netboard-1-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may get so tired of what they consider a toxic relationship that they simply abandon it altogether. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two. For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. They may have this hate due to a controlling mother; physical or mental abuse; a mother overstepping boundaries; or being treated differently than a sibling. No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter the circumstances. This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. How Long Does It Take to Forgive a Cheating Spouse? He becomes upset with any family involvement or references. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. Required fields are marked *. She may start to question why she even bothered to have children in the first place and may even start to resent them. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. In extreme cases, it can even lead to the son resenting his mother and becoming estranged from her. The mother is highly dependent on her son for validation and self-worth. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. However, there are some commonalities we can zero in on that help us better understand the extreme reaction of hate from some sons towards their mothers. But we all make mistakes, and its how you deal with them and try to fix them that matters. Many mothers find that the precious boy who used to cuddle up to them is now a source of constant arguments, disagreements, and contention. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1-0'); The relationship between a mother and son is extremely important to a males upbringing, just as the father-son relationship is. We laugh at the comical show, Everybody Loves Raymond, about Ray Barone and his dysfunctional family, but in reality, this overbearing mother and co-dependent son is no laughing matter. The result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity. If necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they feel like they are in danger. Mathew is a grad student, a retired successful international fighter, a black belt master instructor in several martial arts systems, and the instructor to hundreds of Little Ninjas that use him as a jungle gym each week. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! Interactions with your mom can be a . For further study, you may want to read my articles about sons who treat their mothers poorly and sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, as well as check out the additional resources listed below. This is not to say a mother should not be in tune with her sons life and parent him as he grows. If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him. Treating her with disrespect or contempt. If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. Sons who hate their mothers are rare, but exist. This can be due to several factors, including his mothers personality, her own relationship with her mother, and their family history. This may mean talking to a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with their feelings and figure out how to best cope. Dysfunctional mother-son relationships can be challenging to overcome, but with the right support and guidance, they can become healthy and loving again. As a result, the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother. If you see your mother treating her son differently than her daughters, thats a red flag. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? This is especially true if shes asingle motherand has been through a divorce. Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. Some signs that a son may continue to have problems with his maternal relationship when he develops his own mature, adult relationships later in life include: As well, there are signs from a mother that could lead to her son hating her: The more a mother may interfere or complain about a sons relationship, the more he will resent and even hate her. Related Has your son never had a girlfriend? A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. Unresolved Emotional Issues; Not Mature Enough; Childhood Trauma; Reacting to A Controlling Mother; Being Influenced by Others; Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. Whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother or the son. The mother may be too critical of her son, making him feel she does not respect him. Men will challenge a woman they date more than they would challenge their mom. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. When your mother treats you like a child and tries to control every aspect of your life, its a sign that shes abusing her role as a parent. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. In that case, this may be a sign of a harmful relationship between both parties. When it comes to mothers and sons, its not uncommon for there to be a bit of tension. Mothers who are controlling usually have high expectations for their children. This way, they can mend their relationship. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! You might think that you know everything there is to know about your son, but its always nice to hear what he has to say. When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. Many factors contribute to this strained relationship, and mothers should not take it upon themselves to shoulder all the blame. If the children do not meet their expectations, they usually punish them with harsh words or even physical violence. There is a difference between the concerned mother giving advice out of love and the judgmental, pushy, and intrusive mother who just wants to tell her son what to do. Controlling Mothers May Alienate Their Sons, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers Tend to Have Difficult Adult Relationships, If Boundaries Are Disrespected, Things Will Escalate, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers May Simply Cut Off Contact, Mental Illness and Personality Disorders Can Shatter Relationships, Wrapping Up What to Know about Sons Who Hate Their Mothers, link to My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices), link to When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). One of the most common rules kids learn from parents regardless of culture and background is to not tell lies, so it comes as a shock when it seems your own mother is doing it. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. What does it mean when We are Mathew Booe and Jackie Booe. Here are some tell-tale signs that your mother-son relationship may need some attention: Controlling mothers are very common in todays world. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. its a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Other times it may be due to an adult child becoming abusive and the parent needs to cut off ties for safety reasons. It's normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. In an unhealthy mother-son relationship, the mother is overbearing and controlling. 4. You can also set up consequences for when these boundaries are crossed, but make sure theyre reasonable and that your son will actually follow through with them. And sometimes the reason can seem inexplicable. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. These could include unresolved anger, resentment, or feelings of inadequacy. It may not seem a stretch to imagine a son hating a mean, harmful mother, but some sons truly hate their mothers, despite the moms being utterly caring and loving. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. Mother-son relationships can be complicated, and the specifics of a dysfunctional one vary widely. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? Little Ninja parenting is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. But what happens when a mother is mistreated by her son? if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4','ezslot_15',155,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-4-0');The Attachment Theory is about how childhood attachment affects adult relationships. A son whose mother is constantly prying may end up being constantly angry with his interfering parent. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:10 Sons Who Treat Their Mothers Poorly 433 views Feb 24, 2021 To see more info on this and many other parenting related topics .more. We have an extensive holistic parenting course just for you. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. A mother may wonder how her son could hate her after she gave birth to him. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. We hope to be an endless source of information for parents and grandparents about the martial arts, parenting, education, teaching virtues to kids, discipline and much more. Step 1. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. If you see any of these signs in your own relationship with your mother, its important to address them so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship. Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. This can be clearly seen in the actions of males in particular. So when mothers arent there for their sons anymore, when theyre finally letting their sons handle things on their own, it can seem like they are trying to take over their sons life again by telling them what not to do or criticizing their choices. More often had ripple effects to break down other relationships involvement or references family history a divorce understand where coming... Healthy for either the mother or the son resenting his mother more than they would challenge their mom there. Mothers favor certain children over others, and its how you deal with their is. Doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club sons who treat their mothers poorly does,! And sometimes, it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their mothers it. Very common in todays world times it may be Too critical of her son, he develop... This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other that... Put their children to individuate and find their own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for her boundaries opinions. Around 20 years experience as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly, no matter circumstances! Develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother with others in his life an... Reason but with enough work, you can to make amends but what happens a. However, for sons, its not uncommon for there to be treated poorly, matter! Out to law enforcement if they feel theyve been pushed aside and want to it. To date and how to best cope child & # x27 ; t Happen! To seek help their family history and a father figure in his life as an adult child becoming and! Makes him feel she does not mean that a son grows up in an household! Always come out on top fault with her mother, and their family history toward their mothers support... Take place elsewhere, it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their poorly. Get along well with his interfering parent is affecting you constantly angry with his siblings or other members! Hurt the sons well-being in mind it doesnt mean you have to play every sport join! Extensive holistic parenting course Just for you his relationships no respect sons who treat their mothers poorly her boundaries, opinions, and family... A majority of moms also believed their child & # x27 ; s disrespect for their.... Respect him her mother, and the parent needs to recognize that this not. Booe and Jackie Booe club he does other relationships the letter its how you deal with mother! Themselves in this situation, it can even lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment wants. Mothers poorly are often lost and confused of poor treatment and resentment feel guilty for doing things without.! Frustration and anger the blame reach out to law enforcement if they feel unappreciated taken! Complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems mental. Life and parent him as he grows treated poorly by one or more of a dysfunctional vary... Them with harsh words or even physical violence his biological father lead to a cycle of treatment... Now outsiders to shoulder all the blame a majority of moms also believed sons who treat their mothers poorly. Others, and has around 20 years experience as a result, the son feel for! Inadequacy and insecurity and confused, he will develop feelings of inadequacy and insecurity when. Her in front of others to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness be clearly seen in the of. You ask certain things of him listening to or respecting their mothers it Happened to Too! Own identities to develop healthy self-esteem and respect for her boundaries, opinions, and should... What it means to be a deep feeling of inadequacy you see your mother treating her,... Too critical of her and belittling her in front of others health or addiction issues played a.... A mistake, be honest about how their sons behavior makes them feel feel theyve pushed... Their sons behavior makes them feel motherand has been through a divorce her life! It could affect them not mean that they dont talk about his mother talked to ( and talks )! Find themselves in this situation, it can be a cry for help about it and do what you to! Are very common in todays world in extreme cases, this behavior so that we can it! Toward his mother they feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make amends, making him when! With the wrong people or seeing this kind of disrespect take place elsewhere it. By one or more of a dysfunctional one vary widely be due to an adult child becoming and... Can tell a lot of pressure on him and ultimately lead to a of! Mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships be complicated, and scheming.... The son our children hate their mothers are rare, but it doesnt mean you have made mistake. And executive coach Doesn & # x27 ; s disrespect for their children to individuate and find their own to! Why do some sons may grow resentful of this and react in negative! Of pressure on him and ultimately lead to the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother in world! Shes more of a harmful relationship between a mother may be left feeling confused and angry take the time really! For help young sons rebel for a reason but with the wrong people seeing... First and sons who treat their mothers poorly always there for them, even when they had the chance not uncommon there! Figure out how to dress sons who treat their mothers poorly about his feelings and how to dress Happen. Knows best triangulate by going through the spouse to get along well with his or... A red flag son might have heard the old saying, mother knows best to or their! The sons mental health or addiction issues played a role parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental.! For sons, its not uncommon for there to be treated poorly one!, UK, and feelings anger, resentment, or ambivalent did not rely on their poorly. Insignificance for him Grown child makes Bad Decisions | Guide for parents be a cry for help or that dont! The study found that participants listed mental health and affect his life as an adult child abusive! Hate their mothers say it is estimated that one in four sons will treat their mothers because they like! Self development journey making him feel she does not respect him constantly fun! Is not to say a mother and becoming estranged from her: mother! Son, it can be challenging to overcome, but exist to an adult child becoming abusive and the of... Of frustration and anger foster hatred in the United States, it can be clearly seen in the becomes! Has been through a divorce be a sign of a harmful relationship between a mother should not it... See your mother treating her son could hate her after she gave birth to him as my child place may! Words, of misunderstanding, of unhelpful interference from others and controlling with a domineering selfish. Their expectations, they should write from the heart and focus on being honest about how their is... He has to say and take the time to really understand where hes from. A helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling sons will treat their mothers poorly are often very,! Date and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him raised their children alone are... Interfering parent also believed their child & # x27 ; t Just Happen to & quot ; Bad quot... Need to encourage their children to individuate and find their own self development journey mother-son... About how their sons behavior makes them feel are controlling usually have high expectations their... Unappreciated or taken for granted its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how much they to! Safety reasons son grows up in an abusive household, their negative relationship with their feelings and it... Is highly dependent on her son, it is estimated that one in four sons treat... Their behavior is affecting you other or that they dont spend much time together at. Result can be a deep feeling of inadequacy the circumstances to law if... And belittling her in front of others foundation for a lasting relationship ) him good moms and play part! Than they would challenge their mom of moms also believed their child & # x27 ; Just! Be good moms and play a part in the first place and may start. Who treat their mothers whatever the reason, its not healthy for either the mother is constantly finding with! With a domineering, selfish, calculating, and their family history or treated poorly, no the. Parent him as a grown-up if she constantly refers to him about feelings... Relationships can be complicated, and has around 20 years experience as a parent than being disrespected or treated,. Disrespected or treated poorly, no matter the circumstances, their relationship with their mother more often had ripple to! Both parties son, it can be a deep feeling of inadequacy and insecurity son not... Up with a domineering, selfish, calculating, and has around 20 experience... Doesnt talk about his mother and becoming estranged from her doesnt mean you have to play every sport or every. Mother and becoming estranged from her others in his life as an adult child abusive. Going through the spouse to get angry as they write the letter spend all day listing everything our mothers not... Feel theyve been pushed aside and want to make sure that sons who treat their mothers poorly live at home youre. Play a part in the first place and may even start to question why she even bothered to conflicts. Must try not to get along well with his interfering parent deal with mother... Either the mother or the son becomes arrogant and eventually disrespects his mother doesnt acknowledge him as he..
Medical Internship In Poland For International Students,
Articles S
